India-part 1

Posted on April 27, 2013 by chefgullywhumper

Taj MahalOne of my best friends just got married-all the way on the other side of the world. Denver is roughly 12hours away from Mumbai, India. Half a day, 180° on the other side of this globe we live on called Earth. That’s 18 hours of flying time, and on the way there you jump a day. Now I could be down for that, especially now that I have this little patch of medicine to sit behind my ear and help me not to lose my lunch/dinner/breakfast/airplane peanuts, IF once I touched down it was sunshine, cool breeze, a pool or beach, a tropical drink and possibly a handsome man with strong hands to give me a massage.

That however was not the case. Spending a week in Mumbai, at an Indian wedding is like being inside a tornado. Spinning, loud, dangerous–a topsy, turvy, tumultuous whirlwind. It was an experience of a lifetime, one I know I will NEVER forget. The further I get away from the trip, the less intense it becomes, but I know how I felt during and right after it (jet lag is a B^&*H!). In case you were wondering, yes, Mumbai has the worst air in the world. The smog is so thick you can chew it, and when I took the ferry-boat out to this island to see some cave carvings it was like swimming through dirty bath water. And don’t get me started on the toxic, burning-plastic-on-the-shoreline-across-the-street-from-our-hotel fumes……but I digress.

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What you want to know is about the food. About Indian cuisine in all its glory.The curry, the spices, the aromas, the chai, all the things that we can “get” here in the states but should be 10x better there. Well, I, um……I don’t like Indian food. Never have really (unless Pashmina made it, and then it was awesome, but I have a feeling she toned it down and changed some stuff) and I knew this fact going in. I however hoped that it would be different. “I know I don’t like Indian food here, but it’s a big country there has to be SOMETHING I’ll like with more options.” Yeah, not really. Here’s the thing: the thing is that I lost 10lbs in 2 weeks. So much so quickly that when you come back instead of people saying to you “wow, you look great!” they say “wow!….you lost a LOT of weight.” The good news is, you can’t get sick from eating the food, if you don’t eat the food. There were just a few things I liked, well 5-five things I liked.

 


1) These little fried fish that are apparently common south of where I was, down in Goa (oddly enough a beach/resort type of place) that one of my new friends took me to have on my birthday. [side note: spending your birthday in a foreign country, even in India was kind of awesome. THAT was one of my good days]

2) Lassi~a traditional yogurt drink served in the north. Johanna and I got 1 to share on our way out of Jaipur. We had the sweet kind, served out of a hand-made, terra-cotta cup with a chunk of clotted cream floating on top, and wooden ice cream spoons. It was DELICIOUS!

3) Ice cream~true to the guide-book I read, ice cream there, just like most ice cream in Europe is made with full fat milk. That means it’s the best.  I love ice cream, I can eat it year round. Even in the dead of winter when it’s minus 10F out. It’s not very nutritious and you can’t live off the stuff, but it was certainly tasty.

4) Jalabi~think miniature funnel cake. About the size of a 50 cent piece. Piped dough batter into hot oil. Once it’s cooked, they immediately dip it into a Honey and Saffron mixture. They’re crunchy and gooey, but you (I) could only eat a couple. They got too rich after that. One thing I learned, main meals are SPICY and dessert is SWEET.

5) Peanuts with masala~This one doesn’t really count, because I knew I liked peanuts. I eat them here. Baseball game anyone? But the dipping freshly roasted and shelled nuts into this little packet of spices (that came folded up in a piece of newsprint) was uniquely Indian. Just enough flavor to enhance the nuts and put a little sweet with the salty nuts.

You’ll notice other than the fish, none of the 5 things listed above are something you can live off of. They don’t provided enough nutrition and good fat for a body and brain to function properly. It wasn’t until the end of my trip, when I had more control over the choices of foods to eat that I found some really tasty food and felt more like a human being again. Of course, hardly any of it was Indian Cuisine, so that might have helped.

……..to be continued………

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Reminiscing

Posted on April 22, 2013 by chefgullywhumper

My Grandmother had the softest hands. But they weren’t dainty or small. She had strong, capable, soft hands. The way she would wield a pencil to tackle the daily crossword was fantastic. Ferociously erasing a letter or word when it didn’t fit the other answers. She always finished the puzzle though–she was a very smart lady.

When I was younger and would sit next to her on the couch, she would occasionally brush her fingers through my hair, around my ear, repeatedly so as to quietly lull me. A little human contact goes a very long way. Not a day goes by that I don’t miss her, and sometimes it slams into my emotional core and I break down crying. Aching with the space she left in my heart, wishing for nothing more than to have her run her fingers through my hair, with her soft, strong hands.

I can see her as she would unwrap a piece of hard candy and place it in her mouth. On her tongue really, like a frog stealing a fly, it would stick out and lick onto the candy like a wet tongue on a frozen pole and suck it into her mouth. She is the reason I will never turn down a butterscotch candy.

Don’t forget the celery. The woman ate it like it was going out of style. With cheese in the middle (if you can call what that was cheese…and no, you can’t) or peanut butter-also one of the greatest, simplest snacks ever. I can picture her cutting it into long pieces, filling it and then using her thumb and fore finger to pick it up and take a big bite. The way her lips closed around it and she twisted and chewed until the piece broke off for her to chew. Sometimes she’d be wearing lipstick, and dark pink/mauvey color and that against the celery green was  beautiful. I get my crunch addiction from her, I know it. Celery, chips, candy, nuts…..oh man did she LOVE nuts, especially chocolate bridge mix. Nuts covered in chocolate? Yes Please. I mean, she’s the reason Kettle chips and I have a love/hate relationship. Oh and don’t get me started on eating ice cubes.

Today a Hallmark commercial made me think of my Grandmother, and I started to cry, and mean BALL MY EYES out. I can only take that to mean she’s trying to tell me something. That I think of her more loudly when I’m supposed to figure something out in my life. All I seem to figure out though is the way I miss her, and how she would do certain things that shaped who I am. I suppose that’s not a bad thing after all.

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Bay City and the NAFST

Posted on March 25, 2013 by chefgullywhumper

IMG_9744The only other time I had ever been to San Francisco was just a stop over on my way to Hawai’i-and we all know that just being in the airport doesn’t count. All my life I’d been drawn to the City by the Bay, and once I landed and set out into her, I knew why. The breeze, the air, the buzz of the people-we hummed on the same frequency.

Once I put my bags in my hotel I set off, down Market St towards the water and the Ferry building. Before I left I’d asked my Father questions about what it was like when he was there in the late 60’s early 70’s and he kept saying how different it was. “When I was there the Ferry Building was empty, dilapidated.” Now it’s an amazing collection of shops, eateries, stores and community. All I wanted to do was buy EVERYTHING, eat EVERYTHING, drink EVERYTHING and relish in a food lovers heaven. I wanted the $25 9pc truffle box from the tiny chocolatier, I wanted to buy bottles and bottles of wine from the Wine Merchant, buy myself olive wood cutting boards and utensils, beautiful dishware, cute aprons, delicious cookies and pastries, all the fresh veggies and fruits to create tasty dishes. Sadly though, it wasn’t possible, because I was there without access to a kitchen, and I had only brought a small suitcase for my 4 day trip. I did have my very first Grapefruit French Macaron from Miette–it was delicious, but I don’t think I’d ever routinely pay $2+ for a little bite like that–when on vacation though……

NAFST or the National Association for the Specialty Food Trade holds two big conferences each year in the states. The Winter Fancy Food Show was in San Fran and I had finally gotten to go. It was a long couple of days (especially since the first day I spent the morning with a bit of a hangover – thanks Nathan!). Note to future self and others: DO NOT walk down the Cheese aisle with a hang over, took everything I had not to lose my breakfast. Tasty breakfast at that. Certainly helped cure my aching head. If you’re in SF go to The Grove to eat. I went back for breakfast again the day I left before heading out to the airport. It was delicious.

The show was huge, and I walked circles around it, tasting samples, and looking at packaging, talking to vendors, meeting current Reps from companies I already carry at work. You wouldn’t think so, but it’s hard work. ESPECIALLY when your badge says BUYER on it. Being constantly barraged with people wanting you to buy their product is not for the faint of heart, or the introvert apparently. So I made sure to take some time outside in the sunshine (rare I here for SF, so thanks Ma Nature!) to quiet and relax.  Over the two days I picked out about 20 vendors I wanted to look into. Overall, I wasn’t blown away, and maybe it was just the quantity of choices that overwhelmed me, but nothing stood out as the “next big thing” that I “had to have.” A few things to watch out for:

  • Shortbread~it’s going to be the next big trend, IMO
  • Tea~it continues is upward trend, and there are going to be new flavors and spins on it.
  • Agave~unfortunately is picking up speed. I don’t get it personally. Besides being allergic to it (about 25% of the US population is) I just don’t like the taste, it makes things have a “tacky/sticky/sharp” quality. Kind of what I imagine fiberglass to taste like if one were to chew it.
  • Oatmeal~good for you, filling, Gluten Free if it’s processed on uncontaminated machinery

The second night of the show I had the pleasure of being taken out to dinner by the lovely people at Moonstruck Chocolate. Not only were they gracious hosts, but I had a lovely chat with Head Chocolatier Julian Rose about our desserts at the end of our meal. The food was awesome and if you get a chance, go to Locanda in the Mission, you won’t be sorry.

The last day in San Fran I took for myself. Back down to the Ferry building for breakfast-a raspberry jelly donut, a couple of oysters on the half shell, and a cup of coffee from Blue Bottle Roasters. I waited for the Ferry that would take me out to Sausalito (who knew it wasn’t just a Pepperidge Farm cookie?!) On the way, we passed the Swedish Racing Team Artemis practicing for the America’s Cup Race.IMG_9754 I walked around town for about an hour, then hopped another ferry that would take me down to Fisherman’s Warf where I had clam chowder in a sour dough bread bowl from Boudin Bakery. Afterwards I walked over to Ghiradelli Square IMG_9771and looked around. I was ready for a relaxing night of doing nothing by this point so I waited online for the cable car and road it all the way back to Union Square to the hotel, where I ordered room service and watching a little tv.

All in all, it was a fantastic trip and I’m glad I got to see the city I had always wanted to see. It was nothing and everything like Mark Twain had described.IMG_9761

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Dinner and Dancing at a Palace

Posted on October 3, 2012 by chefgullywhumper

No not really an actual “Palace” but it was quite swanky. Open bar, free food, great music and conversation. All in all, Karen and Randy’s wedding was a lovely event. The ceremony was lovely and classic (even with it being held in a church, thank goodness is was an old, architecturally beautiful one) and the reception at The Brown Palace Hotel was grand.

You will all be happy to know that I bit my tongue–proverbially that is–and held my opinions about the food until AFTER everyone had eaten, so as not to ruin anyone’s meal (or to make fellow patrons angry at me). Turns out it led to an interesting discussion on the matter of mashed potatoes.  It seems there really are people in this world that LIKE lumpy potatoes, and I had some of them sitting at my table. I, however, am not one of those people. I believe a good mashed potato is creamy, silky, smooth, and buttery.  All lumps removed. The main point being that if there are lumps, it means the maker was in a hurry and mashed them too quickly, long before the potatoes finished cooking all the way.  It just reinforces why I never went into the catering/hotels/banquet/cruise line of work. Mass producing “gourmet food” is not on my list of things to do before I die (kind of an oxymoron). When you take all that into consideration, it really wasn’t all that bad. My filet was cooked perfectly (and boy am I ever picky about my steak!), the roll was phenomenal. The apps during cocktail hour were quite delicious, my favorite being a smoked, cold duck breast on a dried apricot, with a sort of berried goat cheese.  Even the cake was alright.

None of this really matters though, because a wedding isn’t about the food (unless it’s mine, if I ever tie the knot) it’s about two people who love each other standing up in front of their friends and family committing to a life together. I’m happy for them and wish them nothing but the best, of course I expect a full report from her on the food in Fiji……..they have to eat at some point!

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Heat

Posted on September 19, 2012 by chefgullywhumper

Heat. It’s a pretty incredible thing when you really think about it. The things it can do; to make things better or taste worse. Slowly or over quick, hot flame.  A caramel sauce that goes from perfectly golden brown to bitter and black in two seconds. The difference between searing a piece of meat in a pan and boiling it to death in its own watery juices. How changing the temperature just a couple of degrees in either direction with make a glass of wine dull and boring one minute and deep, complex and delicious the next. Getting the right temper on chocolate so that it snaps instead of bends and melts in your fingers. Or if your oven is too high and the outside of your bread bakes and sets long before the inside is cooked. Having an ingredient, or a room at the wrong temperature can spell disaster, and the opposite complete triumph. Having something too hot can make you not want to step foot in the kitchen to cook food, too.

As was the case this summer, here in what turned out to be a dry, arid, scorching Colorado. I didn’t cook much over the past few months, and what I did was usually limited to one burner or my toaster oven. Funny thing about that kind of heat is that all you really want to do is drink TONS of cold water and eat popsicles anyway. The thought of piping hot food does not entice. And perhaps what ‘they’ say is true, that you’ll actually cool down if you eat and drink warm things, but you have to start SWEATING in order for that complete cycle to work, and that just makes you want to take a cold shower, so I say just eat the cold thing and be done with it.

I made a pie the other day-Peach, with to-die-for Palisade Peaches (one good thing about a hot summer this year, was some of the best damn peaches I’ve ever had). I set out the butter for the crust to warm up a little while I peeled all those fleshy orange and red orbs. Apparently it took me too long to do it, because by the time I was ready to make the crust the butter had become too soft, too warm in my small 100yr old, top floor, south-facing apartment.  A colder butter/fat in your crust creates a flakier pastry, warmer fat and you get a crumblier pastry. I like mine flaky. Instead I got a dough more reminiscent of short bread than pie crust. It’s kind of amazing how the same ingredients can turn into so many different things. Change the order in which they’re added, or the temperature of them and shazam! totally new food. Normally I would have stopped to chill the butter back down, but I was in a time crunch and had already promised someone a slice for the next day.

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Mosaic Cloud Cake

Posted on July 28, 2012 by chefgullywhumper

I had never heard of it, nor do most people when I tell them what I was making, but its what Tony wanted so I set about finding a way to make it without using packaged Jell-O with all it’s colors and additives.

The funny thing is, making a fruit gelatin from juice is REALLY EASY. Almost easier that making it out of the box. And you can use whatever juice you like–except for fresh pineapple, something about acid content I think, breaks down the gelatin so it doesn’t set.

What IS Mosaic Cloud Cake you ask? First, good question, I had no earthly idea either. It is a gelatin concoction where 3 flavors of gelatin cubes are suspended in a whipped cream and pineapple gelatin mixture (basically a Pineapple Bavarian to you in the culinary know), that is then placed in a spring-form pan over a graham cracker crust. It is intended to look like a piece of stained glass or…..wait for it……a MOSAIC when cut into.

After a long week of making different flavors of gelatin, letting them set and then whipping up the Bavarian and tossing them altogether, it was done, setting up in my fridge, waiting for delivery. I left it at Tony’s house so he could taste and critique it, and hopefully he’ll take some pictures too. Fingers crossed kids, this could be my future on the line…….

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Unhealthy Obsessions

Posted on July 2, 2012 by chefgullywhumper

I’ve been keeping/writing this list. I like to call it “foods I’ve got an unhealthy obsession with” because sometimes I get a little crazy excited about them.  Take a gander, add your own, and I’ll add more as I think of them. Hot, cold, sweet, savory, crispy, crunchy, spicy, smooth as silk, any and all things delicious. Let’s begin, shall we?

Bacon- yes, Bacon. I mean I’ve known Vegetarians that have gone Omnivore because of it, ’nuff said.

Chocolate-especially dark chocolate

Dried Cranberries-not Craisins, regular unsweetened cranberries.

Peanut butter-creamy, not crunchy

*Peanut butter and chocolate together is possibly the best food combination out there

Fresh Sweet Bing Cherries-sometimes I eat so many at once I get sick

Tomatoes-like out of the garden or heirlooms. That hard, pink tomato looking thing at the grocery store is not what a real tomato is.

Ice Cream-really good, hand-made ice cream (gelato works too). It is my weakness, and the main way I get my doses of calcium.

Hot Cocoa and Chips & Salsa-try it, trust me.

Double or Triple Cream Brie-nomnomnomnom

Sweetened Condensed Milk-in coffee mostly, about the only way I’ll drink the stuff, and like the brie it’s super dangerous, but OH SO GOOD!

Sea Salt Caramel- on ice cream (see above), by itself, over a brownie, you get the idea

Pomegranate Molasses- you heard me, sweet, tart and tangy and oh so good over a lemon tart

Warm Tortilla Chips

And not technically a food, but I think it counts, is Screw Top Wine Bottles. Not having to mess with corks is truly one of the greatest inventions, right up there with Duct Tape and WD-40

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Practice Makes Perfect

Posted on May 23, 2012 by chefgullywhumper

Chocolate Cake with chocolate filling, Elmo made with Gum Paste

I’ve made a number of cakes for people lately, most recent being one for a friends’ sons’ second birthday over the weekend.  Odd how I keep getting asked to make whole cakes for people (even offering to make them my own self) when it’s as far from my end goal as possible.  While I’m happy to make things for friends, and luckily all the items I’ve made have turned out fabulously (thank the gods) it’s still a jolt to the system when asked to “make a cake in the shape of a rugby ball”or “could we do and Elmo cake?”

For certain, Duff Goldman I am not, so cakes-as-shapes-of-things isn’t my forte.  I’ve always been of the school that if the food you’re making–whether savory or sweet–is tasty and of the highest quality, then that should be enough .  No fancy flourishes (ask me how I feel about obtrusive herbal garnish) no castles, boats or cars and shapes.  The first one I tried was the baseball pictured above, just to see if I could do it.  I think they’re cool, but it’s never been something I wanted to focus on.  I think I’d rather make a bunch of small baseballs than one large cake.  It would take much longer, and more work, but you certainly would never have to worry about structural integrity–like in the blue wedding cake.  Something more along the lines of what I made for Easter Dinner back in April, or the cute little cakes I made for my Mom for Mothers Day.  “I just want a piece of chocolate cake and nice glass of milk” (note: she opted for a cordial of Bailey’s instead, and drank milk with her second piece the next day.)  They were the perfect size, and no leftovers (great in a house where everyone seems to be trying to lose weight and eat healthier).  I suppose all of it doesn’t really matter in the end though, because it’s still baking, and I love it.  Plus every one of these items used the exact same chocolate cake recipe, and that means LOTS of practice.

Chocolate and Berry Trifle

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Bottoms Up!

Posted on April 23, 2012 by chefgullywhumper

A few weeks ago I had the pleasure of volunteering for hard labor…..ok, I don’t know how HARD it was, especially since they encourage you to drink on the job, but it was physical, and took thought and coordination.  That’s enough for me.  Although I have to tell you, ever since my broken foot and foot surgery last year, I have like zero alcohol tolerance, especially at 10am.  So I have a few sips and I’m running the bottle filling station, and filling the hopper, and…….a bit of wine sprays out of the top of the filling hopper.  They say it happens every time, but I still feel bad.  I like learning something new, and getting the hang of it quickly, so when that doesn’t happen I get upset with my self.

We clean up the spill and keep going about the job of filling, capping, sealing and boxing the delicious bottles of IMT Blind Watchmaker. It’s a wonderful morning, meeting new people and seeing friends (thanks Karen for telling me, “I do that every time” when talking about spilling wine). Then they were kind enough to feed us all lunch, a welcome thing with the wine I had consumed.  I had to leave early 😦 but I did get my own bottle to take home 🙂 I fully intend to help out–and not drink while working–with them again. If you’ve never had the chance to try any of their delicious varietals, please go seek it out. Infinite Monkey Theorem makes a drink to quench whatever thirst you might have.  And if any of my bartender friends out there happen to receive a case of 2011/12 Blind Watchmaker with a lovely Pollock-esque spray of purpley-red, think of me, save the box and if you want I’ll sign it. Cheers!

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Shut Up and Bake!

Posted on March 28, 2012 by chefgullywhumper

I was told that whenever my brain starts over thinking the business aspect of my dream to open my bakery, to tell that voice to “shut up” and then go bake something.  Sounds simple, I mean when I bake or cook things my thinking goes dormant and I just “DO.” It’s a meditative state for me.  I bet if there was a way to take my brain scan whilst whipping up and English Trifle or Souffle perhaps, that it would be just as calm and serene as a Tibetan Monks as he becomes one with the wind.  It’s probably one of the reasons I went so bonkers when my feet were wrapped up last year, because I couldn’t do the one thing that would calm me down.  Isn’t it funny how for some people the thought of baking something puts them into panic mode, but for me it’s the most pleasant thing to do?  The only other thing I can think of that will put me in a calm mood–as long as there are no other cars around–is driving.  If this whole “opening a bakery” thing doesn’t work out, I’m going to try and become a driver of the cars in commercials that no one sees.  You know, when they film on a closed mountain road, over and over and over again to get the shot right? #Mostunattainabledreamjobever.

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